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 of my duties when serving as associate pastor was to oversee the youth ministry program. When I began the post, I really wanted to get things started right, so I got this idea of having a prayer vigil. The timing seemed appropriate in that it was August, on the cusp of a new school year and a new season. I, along with the youth ministry team, decided the prayer vigil would begin on a Saturday at 7:00 PM and end on Sunday morning at 7:00 AM. We decided to have two to three people switch off every hour to hold the church, the youth group, and the new school year in prayer. We chose to use our garage because it seemed safer (no teenagers having to walk across a dark quiet parking lot at 2:00 AM), more cozy (being in someone’s home even if it was the garage), and more funky (garage, need I say more).
 We set up various prayer stations… a place to sit on a blanket and listen to music or play the guitar… a candlelit table to write prayers… a chair to sit and read scripture or devotional books… an easel on which to paint prayers… clay on which to mold prayers…
My neighborhood was a quiet neighborhood. We had never heard a peep after 9:00 PM.
Until, of course, the night of the prayer vigil.
Being Labor Day Weekend, one of our neighbors decided to throw a party. It started off as a rather quiet gathering around 7:00 PM – just when we were starting our prayer vigil. I heard the music, but did not find it troublesome. In fact, it was rather pleasant, arising those warm feelings of summer, of friends gathered around watermelon and lemonade, just listening to some soft tunes.
It became apparent, however, that the drinks were not as tame as lemonade and the music wasn’t just to be listened to, but performed. It was an all-out karaoke party. As the night wore on, it appeared that the drinks got stronger, the singing got louder, and the “talent” got… well, let’s just say you don’t sing too pretty when you have had too many.
I was hoping this smashing party would end at 10:00 PM. When the clock moved past 10, I hoped for an 11:00 ending. When the party still didn’t come to a close and the music only got LOUDER, I called a complaint into the police station. The dispatcher informed me that they had already received a call, but would not be able to get there within the hour because of more pressing matters. I was not pleased. I tried to explain that I was having a prayer vigil in my garage, as if the dispatcher should find this to be the trump card. I’m pretty sure that I shouted, “YOU MUST STOP THIS PARTY SO WE CAN PRAY!” I was becoming a righteous, indignant, vengeful, holy-roller.
At midnight, the pray-ers changed shifts and the new two teenage girls picked their stations to begin their hour of prayer. It was just then that I heard the D.J. speak into the microphone the clear, precise, loud, and enthusiastic words, “And next we have Kevin performing ‘Me So Horny’ by 2 Live Crew!” In drunken enthusiasm, I heard Kevin sing, “Oh, oh, me so horny, me love you long time…”
I threw my hands in the air thinking, “You have got to be kidding me!” Then I threw up a complaint, “Dear God, why tonight?” Then I marched right back into the house and angrily called the police who still had not come. They informed me once again that they had more pressing matters than my prayer vigil, like car accidents and burglaries. The thought never crossed my mind to pray about those things. Instead, I stormed back to the garage and apologized to the girls for the loud distracting music in the neighborhood.
It was then that I noticed neither of them were the least bit ruffled by it. One said very calm and matter-of-fact, “Oh, it’s no big deal. It’s like real life. You have to learn to deal with road noise. I actually think it’s helpful; it’s making me focus harder.”
I stood before the teenagers feeling about two feet tall, realizing how pitiful and trite my anger had been. I had been humbled and taught once again an important lesson from someone much younger and much less “experienced” than myself… we need to learn how to pray within the midst of the road noise.
It is something I have to keep learning, for family life is full of “road noise.” Sometimes I accomplish getting up early in the morning and having at least a half hour of quiet time, reading Celtic Daily Prayer, before our children are awake. But it seems that all too often Hannah wakes up desperately in need of warm chocolate milk (seriously, it’s like an adult not being able to function without their coffee) or Aidan is Mr. Chatty-Chatty or Jude is calling out once again for help finding his socks or shoes or belt or Tim is asking me a question about our schedule for the day. I think on average I stick my cup of cold tea in the microwave for a warm-up approximately 3.4 times and return to Celtic Daily Prayer, staring blankly at the page and wondering, now, where was I, anyway?
But the ancient Celtics have helped me find my way in the midst of the road noise. They saw all of life as a prayer, speaking to God in the mundane tasks of their everydays. I love how Esther DeWaal opens Every Earthly Blessing with a story about a Celtic woman of old who awakes and says a prayer as she starts her fire, another prayer remembering the Trinity when she splashes three palmfuls of water on her face, another prayer when she makes her bed… Maybe I can say a prayer for patience when my children are screaming, a prayer of thanksgiving when I fold their clothes, a prayer for those going to work and school when I drive on the road each morning.
Can prayer be the continual conversation in and around the road noise? It was the apostle Paul who said in his letter the Thessalonians, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks to God in all circumstances.”
Pray without ceasing may well seem like an impossible calling, but I actually believe it can happen in the midst of the road-noised, traffic-jammed life of families. I think it is unfortunate that the deep, quiet spiritual life is one most attributed to people without children – or at least not with children running underfoot. We think of nuns and monks praying the hours of the day. We think of white-haired grandparents sitting quietly with Bibles in hand. In history, we hear of desert “fathers” and “mothers” who abandoned daily life and ran away from all the road noise to spend time in quiet conversation with God. But are they actually “more holy”? Are they the only ones who can be so close to God?
I think not. I’m a firm believer that the contemplative life can happen in homes with toddlers and teenagers. By “contemplative,” I mean prayerful and calm and thoughtful, centered on God and what God is doing in, through, and around us. I think a contemplative pray-er is how Esther De Waal described the Celtic Christians, “Prayer was not a formal exercise; it was a state of mind.”
I want my children to live in a state of prayer no matter what noises are on the road. I think one way to do that is to help our kids be in conversation with and about God everyday.
A few years ago, we began a family ritual of ending our day with “devotions.” You could call it “evening prayer” or “worship.” Either way, you could say it has been a way to “pray in a new day.” It is usually quiet in our neighborhood when we do this, but not always.
Nonetheless, I must tell you that this ritual often looks messy. Tim has been known to fall asleep on occasion. Both of us have been known to roll our eyes about the length of time the children are taking in their leadership of the evening or the amount of jumping off the couch they are doing. Jude has been known to punch his sister in the middle of prayer. Aidan has been known to pick the longest possible scripture passage to read aloud. Hannah has been known to sing a 5-minute “hymn” that begins with “Jesus Loves Me” and somehow morphs into “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” followed by a random sung explanation of her day and the color of the carpet.
But in the midst of all the road noise, we sing and we read scripture and we share the high and low points of our day and we say a blessing for the night. Somehow it is good and true and it reminds of who we are and Whose we are. Somehow it is a way to pick up the day and hold it and offer it to God for both celebration and mending. It is a way to say, “We can’t do this thing on our own.” It is a way to recognize that God is both louder and quieter than all the road noise of our lives.
As we begin yet another new season, another new year – one, as always, filled with road noise – it seems rather apt to try to “pray in the new year” and see what blessings and transformations might be born. Blessings to you as you pray.
Mulling Questions
1. How do you feel about “praying in the new year?” What things do you want to pray for? You could write a prayer that begins with your thanksgivings, then says your fears or worries for the coming year, then lifts up your hopes and dreams.
2. What “road noises” or challenges do you have in prayer?
3. How might you be able to better weave prayer into the moments and movements of your everydays?
4. How is your prayer life? What are you grateful for and in what ways might you want to grow or stretch your prayer life?
5. Is prayer comfortable or uncomfortable for you? Do you pray with and/or for your children? Do your children pray? Are they comfortable pray-ers? What observations have you had about adults in prayer and children in prayer?
Action Opportunities
The “Action Opportunities” are meant to do WITH CHILDREN. This is a great way for families to grow together. You don’t have to do everything. Pick what fits you - or invent your own.
1. Make this a prayer-full month.
2. Try a new prayer practice.
3. Read one of the prayer books listed below and talk with others about thoughts, insights, and questions that arose.
4. Have a prayer service/gathering with other families.
5. Walk a prayer labyrinth.
For Further Insight
Listed below are some of the prayer books and resources that we have found helpful in family life. Feel free to contact us if you have questions or want to talk further at raisingmicah@mac.com or (805) 300-3456. If you live in the Ventura County, California area, you can join our Core Community for one of several prayer events offered the month of January.
1. For a good introduction to prayer, you may wish to read Richard Foster’s Prayer.
2. Children and Prayer by Betty Shannon Cloyd helps parents understand the significance of prayer in children’s lives and helps to better equip parents to be prayer leaders.
3. Praying in Color comes in both adult and children versions and is a great resource that helps people prayer through color and art.
4. Daily prayer books can help you pray the “daily offices” – in particular, morning, noon, and night. Celtic Daily Prayer from the Northumbria Community in England is a wonderful resource that provides a list of daily scripture readings, prayers, graces, and seasonal prayers. For small children, we recommend This is What I Pray Today by Phyllis Tickle.
5. At day’s end, Sleeping with Bread by Matthew Linn and Dennis and Sheila (Fabricante) Linn teaches a way to reflect and pray about the day. The children’s version of the book is Making Heart Bread.
6. There are many great online prayer resources including www.pray-as-you-go.org. You can listen on computer or download on your iPod or MP3 player daily scripture readings and prayers for each day of the week. |
